Don’t we all?
We meet a number of people in our lifetime and make friends with a few of these who we never thought would ever stand a chance being a part of our lives. Of these some existed in the periphery of our lives whereas a handful emerge from nowhere and we get ridiculously happy if we feel a certain connection with them. The next thing we do is cherish the newly forged bond(s) and go gaga about it with our other friends. I’ve actually done that too and while I’m saying this let me also clarify that I’m not talking singularly about romantic relationships. This is about friends we make with any human who out of the blue begins the occupy – if not the centre – at least the periphery of the centre of our universe.
Unfortunately to our surprise not all bonds last long enough and we often wonder about what could have possibly gone wrong. I’ve heard a lot bitch about their former friends and who knows they’re now bitching about me too? This sometimes makes me wander as to don’t we give any thought to the good times we’ve shared with the person? Do those happy days not matter anymore? Can’t we let some lost friendships float in our memories without remembering them or recounting them in anguish? Can’t we just learn this fact that it’s not too bad to lose friends after all. Our journey with them probably was for that long only. Period.
You may say that I’ve said a few wise things (or not!), but it took me a decent amount of time to understand the dynamics of my emotions.I am someone who lacks the knack of making friends and so obviously not a social butterfly either who are friends of friends of friends. During my school years, I had one best friend and we were popular as S&S among students and teachers. We’re totally inseparable even today. So, you see…one best friend? I had other friends too but i preferred calling them classmates or batchmates. Now during the university years I made a couple of friends of which I’m friends with only a 2-3 because the harsh truth is that we lose people on the way and it’s only worth making an effort for those people who value you all the same.
The process of losing friends is different for all because the reasons are different. Sometimes people change. Why and how? Well, we don’t have answers to everything. You sense it and despite sharing so much in common you realise that it’s not the same anymore. This doesn’t mean they think ill of you or suddenly want you dead. It’s just that you don’t want to walk together because of some differences that are beyond explanation. You probably don’t even owe an apology. They will understand if they want to and make a quiet exit without much drama. Sometimes they secretly envy you. Yes, even the best of friends harbour envy in their hearts, but when it multiplies and shows its face time and again, you want to then stand up for yourself and make an exit. Sometimes you lose them circumstantially without any of you asking for it. It’s only natural to slip away from each other’s lives and keep them in your prayers. Sometimes they don’t have time for you and when they don’t interact with you as frequently as they did in the past they conveniently fess up a lack of connection that was once there. They probably don’t know that one has to make time for people and not complain of having no time.
Now while I may have said a lot of these things quite easily, I mustn’t shy away from admitting that no loss is without hurt. It takes time to be without them, but eventually it gets okay.
May the friends I’ve lost blossom into the most beautiful people I had the pleasure of knowing once ~